Confessions of a Mother
by MercyDarkrose
Summary: Rose's POV on her 3 children.
1. Chapter 1 Maurice

Disclaimer: These Characters are NOT mine. The Cast of Third Watch is owned by NBC, and Fyre owns the Character.  
  
Thank You: To Fyre for letting me use her character's name.  
  
Synopsis: Rose's POV on her children's lives. Seen through her eyes. It takes place over time from the Season premiere to the 5th season. You will know because it goes in children order, through the seasons.  
  
******NOTE******  
  
Ok, this is going be odd. Use an imagination here. I am going to do Rose's Monologue, but based on how the episode would go, She is talking over the scene. This is a new thing for me, so if it sucks I am sorry. Please understand this was a hard undertaking. I am not used to writing fics not based on conversation. So once again, please use your imagination and be gentle on me.  
  
Rose sat in the Psychiatrist's office. She had been seeing him since she kicked her husband out of the house. None of the children knew, and she wanted to keep it that way. She fidgeted in the seat slightly, looking at the doctor, who stared back at her over rimmed glasses.  
  
"So, Mrs. Boscorelli, what would you like to talk about this week?" He wrote something on the pad. She watched the pen move, as she wondered if he was actually writing something or just doodling.   
  
"My children. My babies. They are my life now, may as well talk about them. They are my reason for being." She looked down, crossing her legs.  
  
"All children are their parent's reason for being. Why don't you tell me about each child? We have talked about their childhood, why don't we talk about their adult lives. Have you seen them recently?"  
  
"Yes, Mercedes and Maurice came over for Sunday Dinner. We had Manicotti with Sausages."  
  
"Did they bring their spouses?" He wrote down stuff she said.  
  
"No, Maurice isn't married. Mercedes is though. She is married to a paramedic who works with her. I don't think Maurice is the settling type. He is 31 and still hasn't settled down. He's a restless spirit. What he does for a living is very high stress and I worry."  
  
"Why do you think he is a restless spirit? Why don't you tell me what Maurice does for a living, why he is so stressed, and why you worry so much."  
  
"All right, where do you want me to start?"  
  
"Wherever you feel is necessary."  
  
Rose sighed; she didn't know what to say about her children. They were her everything. She straightened and decided where to start.  
  
"Maurice became restless from the time Mercedes started working in his Precinct. Maurice is a Police Officer, and Mercedes is a Fire fighter. They are both very good, but their jobs make me worried. My other son, Mikey, he was a drug addict. It almost tore our family up. Maurice had a partner, Faith Yokas; she is out of commission right now. He feels so guilty about it. But let me tell you about the days before all the pain they feel now."  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Maurice stands in the locker room, talking to Sully, Davis and Yokas about the girl he found in a club and he went to her place and got his. They are all cringing as he brags with that cocky smile on his face. They all walked away, to go to Roll Call as he finished getting ready. He put his belt on and looked in the mirror smiling.  
  
b"He is an odd boy. He seems to have a fear of commitment. He is very woman to woman. His longest relationship was Nicole, a friend of mine. He just doesn't seem like he's ready to settle down. It seems my daughter and his job are his life, and he never makes time for himself, except after work, where he meets some girl and spends the night at her place. He thinks I don't know, but Nicole told me everything."  
  
"Tell me about his relationship with your daughter."  
  
"That is complicated. He is like her father, but he is her brother. He is her brother, but also her best friend. They work together, live together, and spend all their time together. It's so difficult to understand their lives now. I know she keeps some secrets from him, and he does with her, but they are so close. He has been like her guard since day one."b  
  
Bosco walks out of the Precinct house with Faith and moves to his RMP, looking towards the fire station. Mercedes stands at the Truck with Jimmy, Walsh, DK, Bobby, Kim, Carlos and Doc. Bosco moves his way across the street after tossing the keys to Faith. He stops and motions Mercedes to walk over. She stops laughing and gives the 1-minute mark to the guys and moves to her brother. He whispers something in her ear and she nods. She kisses his cheek and he blushes just a pinch as the guys in the fire station make goofy noises. Bosco walks across the street after a lewd gesture towards Jimmy and gets in the RMP. He backs up as Mercedes gets situated where she was and gets comfortable.  
  
b"He feels it is job to watch over everyone in life. Ever since he was a small boy, he protected Mikey and Mercedes. He watched over them and helped them their entire lives. Still does. He is very over protective of Mercedes; and I think that is why he became a cop. He knows he can stop people like his father from ruining other people's lives, like he feels his father ruined his. It's like he has a need to rid the world of all bad people."b  
  
The RMP speeds up as the lights come on. Bosco's driving gets erratic as he slams on the brakes in front of an apartment building. He jumps up and runs up the stairs, stopping before the door. Faith gets on the other side and he counts down to 3, then kicks the door in. They run in and apprehend a man who was beating his wife. Bosco slams the man into the wall and proceeds to yell at him and cuff him. Faith helps the woman and calls for a bus as Bosco leads the jag off away.  
  
He leans against the car as Doc and Carlos check out the woman. He shakes his head in disgust as the woman is belted to the stretcher and taken away. Faith moves to their car as Bosco follows, looking at Sully and Davis, which nod about taking the man in for holding. Bosco follows the bus to Mercy and proceed to wait for a statement from the woman.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Back in his office.  
  
"So you see, he is a hard boy to follow. He is very egocentric and hot headed, but he loves his family, and would never let any harm come to us on purpose. Mikey is a different story. He was never quite as strong as Maurice was in the protection department"  
  
(Please Review. This is the one time I am posting before completing the entire story, since I want to know what people think of of the writing, before I write numerous chapters if it sucks. TY) 


	2. Chapter 2 Mikey

Thank You: To the reviewers who told me to keep going. I know it seems odd now, but I hope it will all make sense in the end. TY again.   
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Rose sat in the office, she knew this was going to be an all day event. The doctor looked towards her, waiting for her to give details bout her youngest son, Mikey.  
  
"What is Mikey like?"  
  
"Was, he's dead now."  
  
"How did he die?"  
  
"He was shot to death, in a drug war."  
  
"So he was a drug dealer?"  
  
"And user. Let me explain. Mikey never took to the beatings the way Maurice did. Maurice would protect his brother and sister from the beatings by taking them himself. When he moved out and went into the Military, Mikey couldn't take the beatings and couldn't protect Mercedes, and turned to drugs."  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Mikey sits on a bathroom floor. He has a mirror on his lap as he breaks up the rock, crushing it with a $100.00 bill. He makes it into a fine powder, and gets a straw, snorting the lines he just created. He leans his head back against the wall and sniffles, enjoying the drip, which gave him the high. He looked to his friend an offered the 2nd line, but his friend was passed out. He shrugged and snorted the second line and moaned in pleasure. He ran his finger over the mirror and rubbed the residue on his gums, feeling them go numb. He stumbled up and put the mirror away, walking out of the bathroom. He sat the bar; he felt his heart racing as little beads of sweat crossed his forehead. He looked around as he was asked if he wanted the usual. He nodded as he looked around.  
  
b"He was always into drugs, not the little things, big things, like Cocaine, and I think he did heroin a few times. He just couldn't handle the stress of being the protector. He went on and off the drugs so many times. He did it in front of Mercedes, he was caught once by Maurice, and Maurice flipped out. Maurice even arrested him the first time he caught him selling in a school zone. That's what almost tore the family apart. Mercedes and I were stuck between doing the right thing. She couldn't choose and walked out on both of them. She was crushed that the family had almost fallen apart. She knew she would have Maurice's back, no matter what, but she also wanted Mikey to be happy. She knew about his use from the beginning and never told a soul. She tried to help him, she would meet with him at all hours of the night, but she could never keep him clean. When he was killed, she blamed herself. That was a terrible day."b  
  
Mikey sat on a bench in Central Park, looking around. He was high, as always. He called his sister to meet him and was waiting. After a little while she pulled up in Maurice's Mustang, and got out, walking to him. They started talking and Mikey started to cry on her shoulder. She held him and rocked him as he just cried and let it all out on her. He eventually looked up at her and she kissed his cheek, telling him that she loved him, no matter what he did. They walked down the park, quietly. Mercedes was only 20, but she knew he had issues. They talked quietly about his life and how he kept messing it up. She just listened and nodded, pointing out all the good he did growing up.   
  
b "My daughter, Mercedes, she's the youngest. And where Maurice had severed ties with Mikey, Mercedes is the glue that held them together. Mercedes' getting hurt while working is what cleaned Mikey up. She helped him every step of the way, and when he finally got out of rehab, she was so proud of him. She even helped him get into college, to try to get a degree. She gave up her scholarship, for him. I remember the night he came home from rehab."b  
  
Mikey, Maurice, Mercedes, Carlos and Rose were standing in the kitchen. Mikey and Mo were talking as Mercedes helped her mother get dinner ready. It was a celebration with 'WELCOME HOME MIKEY' on a banner. Mikey moved to Carlos and talked to him, getting to know him as Mo moved to Mercedes and pulled her into her old bedroom to talk to her in private. Mikey and Carlos helped Rose put the food and plates settings out, as Mo and Mercedes walked out. Mercedes held an Envelope, and Mo held a small box. They each passed Mikey the items and Mikey looked up at them. Mikey opened the box first and saw gold chain in it. It had a charm on it, the Celtic symbol for brothers with an inscription 'Love, Mo' engraved on the back. Mikey hugged Mo and they smiled as Rose got the food ready to be served. Mikey opened the envelope given to him by Mercedes and blinked a few times. Pulling out a voucher for the equivalent of what her Scholarship was, he looked at her and she nodded. She sacrificed her future, so her brother could have another one. No one knew she did that and Rose moved to her and looked at with an 'Are you sure?' look on her face. Mo patted Mikey's arm as Mikey got up and hugged Mercedes. Carlos smiled softly, as Mo went to sit down. He knew Mercedes had done the right thing, and though he wasn't exactly tickled at the idea, he knew Mercedes trusted Mikey enough to sacrifice that.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"So you see, Mikey was the odd one out, but somehow, we stayed together. I rarely spoke to any of my children until Mercedes was hurt. When she got married, it was like the entire family just came together. We went from a family of 3, to a family of close to 20. The Precinct they work in celebrates holidays together now, we all go down there and celebrate together. And where Mikey and Mo haven't found happiness, Mercedes has."  
  
"Why don't you tell me about Mercedes? Her marriage, her life, whatever comes to mind about her."  
  
Rose sighed and nodded. Drumming up memories was starting to get to her and she was getting fidgety.  
  
(OK, work with me here. The confusing metaphors and statements will come together soon. Just have patience. TY. Please R&R) 


	3. Chapter 3 Mercedes

Rose looked at the Doctor, who had brought her some coffee. She took a sip and looked up at him as he sat back down, crossing his legs, putting the pad down. She sighed and took another sip, trying to avoid the topics he was going to ask about.  
  
"What about your daughter, Mercedes?"  
  
"She's a wonder unto itself."  
  
"How so?"  
  
"She survived living with my ex-husband, Anorexia, the Fire Academy, being trapped in the WTC collapse, being kidnapped and beaten, her husband being shot, her brother's death, 2 of her best friends and her father figure being killed, a miscarriage and a stillborn child. She goes strong, I don't know how she does it, but it happens. Even Maurice wonders how she does it. She just moves on, like it hasn't effected her."  
  
"Are there any instances of her you remember that could have created this unemotional barrier?"  
  
"She's not un-emotional. She just knows how to get over things fast. I think I remember one time, she and her brothers were getting beat on. She was 10 I believe. I was at work, and they ran out of the house, disappearing for hours."  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
10 year old Mercedes, 13 year old Michael and 15 year old Maurice are seen running down a footpath, jumping over, or sliding under a closed off rail. They run into the fort barracks and slid into the tunnel, stopping. The evening light showered from the top that had started to crack and was slightly brittle. They looked at each other as Mercedes started to cry. Mikey held her as Mo kneeled in front of her and pet her knee telling her it would be all right. He walked outside, and to the edge of the barracks, looking up at the Brooklyn Bridge. Mercedes walked up behind him and hugged him. He turned and held her to him as she sobbed on his chest. He talked softly to her, vowing to never leave her side. Mikey came up and they all talked, sitting there, in the dark, for hours on end. When the sun broke the horizon, Mo looked over and knew it was time to go. He picked up his little sister, who had fallen asleep and started to walk down the path, Mikey following closely behind. They knew by this time their father had left for work. They walked down the path as Mercedes opened her eyes, looking up at Mo in an adoring way. Her mouth moved, saying 'I Love You, Mo'.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
The doctor nodded listening as a tear slid down her cheek. Rose looked down, stirring her coffee in a daze. He waited for her to look up at him before he spoke.  
  
"So you believe that is where she learned to shell her feelings?"  
  
"I don't think she ever learned how to shell her feelings. But she knew when she couldn't show them. My husband was brutal about that. If she cried, he hit her harder, if she didn't show it, he would stop, if he felt like it. I suppose they all learned how to develop the anti-emotional facade."  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Carlos, Mercedes and Mo sit in the hospital. They are waiting to identify Mikey's body. Mo paces back and forth as Carlos watches him and Mercedes runs her fingers through her hair. She lays her head on Carlos' lap and gets comfortable. She knows IDing can take hours and knows pacing will get her nowhere. Mo stops and sits down, placing his arm on her hip, yawning. Their eyes are red-rimmed and puffy from crying. To them, they are all cried out. Carlos falls asleep as the doctor comes out, calling out their name. Mercedes slides off of his lap, letting him sleep as Mo moves to the doctor. The doctor leads them to the morgue and to a slab. Mercedes swallows hard and grabs Mo's hand. The doctor lifts the sheet and Mikey's bluish colored upper body is exposed. Mo closes his eyes and sways slightly as Mercedes fell to her knees, holding her stomach. The doctor moves to her after covering the body and she starts to cry in pain. Mo picks her up, cradling her in his arms and rushes her up to the ER. Carlos wakes up to the noise and goes after Mo, asking what happened. Mo lays her on the bed and the doctor gets the nurses. Mo moves to Carlos and holds him back.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"That was the day she miscarried?"  
  
"Yes... on her birthday. That was the only time she never recovered after a week. Losing her baby was devastating to her. She didn't go back to work for almost 3 months. She doesn't think she will ever have children, which hurts her. All she wants is a baby, even with her job. Her dream is to give Carlos a baby boy. All I ever wanted out of my children is to grow up right and give me grandchildren. Mikey did that, but it took his death to find out about the baby. No one even knows who the mother is. I don't even know why I am talking about this."  
  
"Let it out. Say what's on your mind."  
  
"I remember when Mercedes' best friend died. Alex Taylor. She died in an explosion, caused by a car accident, involving a high-speed chase that involved Maurice. He was working ACU that day.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Mercedes stands of to the side, sitting at the bus, helping Carlos with a patient they extracted from the car. She looks over to see Lieu yelling at Alex to get off of the car. Mercedes is 4 months pregnant, and they won't let her near the fire, so Alex is helping do her job. Mercedes looks up to see Mo leaving and she glares at the woman standing next to him. She moves to him and grabs his arm. Her mouth moves with words unknown as she gets into what seems to be an argument. Bosco moves his arm and walks with Cruz and Mercedes shakes her head. She walks back towards the bus, looking at Taylor as the car explodes. Mercedes ducks and sees Alex fall, and Lieu fall back. She runs towards Taylor looking at the 2 pieces of her and looks at Carlos who is talking to Taylor. Mercedes knows Alex is dead, even though she is talking softly and looks up at Doc who is yelling for Alex. Moving to Doc, she tells him about Alex and he looks over. Mercedes eyes tear up as she runs to the bus with Carlos.  
  
b"She wasn't quite the same after that. She felt that it was her fault because Taylor was doing her part of the job. But there was one person she blames more than herself, and that was Maurice's ACU partner, Sergeant Cruz. That lead to a fight that still haunts them."b  
  
Mercedes sits in the waiting room, she knows Alex was confirmed dead, and is waiting to find out how Lieu is. She looks up to see Maurice walk in and look at her. She gives him a look that could kill. She stands up, moving to him. They start to talk and she asks him why he is there. He tells her about Faith and she shakes her head, having no feelings for his pain. They start to fight and she shoves him. He stands his ground, and doesn't shove back. She walks out, as the entire Station, both Cops and Firefighters witness them fighting as she runs into Cruz's room. She starts screaming at Cruz and is pulled back by Mo. Mo starts yelling at her to chill out and Mercedes punches Cruz across the face. Cruz jumps up and prepares to fight her. Mo jumps in between them and stops them from killing each other. Carlos walks in and takes his wife's arm, gently pulling her out. Mercedes is red, screaming threats and obscenities. Cruz is throwing them right back. Carlos picks up his wife and carries her outside, as Kim and Jimmy follow.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"It took them 2 weeks to reconcile. To avoid each other, she made Maurice stay at a hotel. At the one time they needed each other most, they weren't talking. Maurice's partner had been shot and wasn't talking to him, and their lives seemed to fall apart. But when Maurice found out a secret, he went to his sister and they worked together to bring Cruz down." She lit up a cigarette, sighing softly. The doctor blinked a few times. If anyone's family seemed doomed, it was the Boscorelli family. He cleared his throat as he finished writing, then looked up at her.   
  
"Did you want to wait until another day to talk more?" He asked her softly. Rose nodded and stood up, quietly walking out of the office. 


End file.
